MPRI Article

Of hope and light
By Megan Meyer ⋅ December 1, 2008 ⋅

IU's war machine finds a new legacy in lifesaving cancer treatment.
Wishing only to fulfill graduation requirements, history or political science majors might begrudgingly take an introductory-level physics course. As they sit in lecture in Swain Hall West, coloring in the "o's" of words such as "torque" and "force" on notebook paper, they might prefer to learn something they believe to be more pertinent to society and people. The Cold War, maybe. Or the Manhattan Project.

What these doodling non-majors don't know is that they sit on the crater of a war machine. In the belly of Swain Hall West once sat a cyclotron, an instrument that collected data to build Little Boy and Fat Man, atom bombs that the United States dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II. Inside the cyclotron, sub-atomic particles whirled around in a spiral path, propelled by great magnets to a cataclysmic end.

Any world-history class can teach the results of cyclotron research: the loss of 200,000 Japanese lives and the end of the war.
The historic destruction of Hiroshima is separated from IU by thousands of miles and more than 60 years, but time and distance won't break the connection. Instead of leaving the machine to rust in infamy, the cyclotron was transformed from battle machine to a precision cancer treatment. Cutting-edge cancer treatment is presumed to have a home only in places such as the Mayo Clinic, Harvard, and Stanford, but one machine has forever carved Bloomington's name in the annals of both war and medical history, as the legacy of the cyclotron is rewritten.


It's mid-October in Bloomington, and the IU Department of Physics has scheduled its open house weekend around one of the cyclotron's quarterly maintenance shutdowns. Although there are many safety measures already in place, public viewing of the facility is limited to these shutdown periods to reduce radiation exposure. Driving down Milo B. Sampson Lane, the Midwest Proton Radiotherapy Institute is nestled just past the IU Cyclotron Facility facade. The lobby is warm and welcoming, with overstuffed chairs, children's toys, and a fish aquarium. To the right is a set of double doors, through which all patients pass before receiving treatment.

The doors give way to a brightly lit hallway with rooms lining its sides. This is the patient's first real encounter with the facility. There are five exam rooms, four for adults and the other for children. The pediatric room's walls are covered entirely by a mural depicting a greenscape of flowers and birds; at the head of the exam table is a painted teddy bear in a doctor's uniform.

A local film crew has come this morning to interview Allan Thornton, MPRI's medical director since 2002 and a well-respected figure in radiation oncology. The crew questions him about the significance of proton therapy for Monroe County, and to catch a glimpse of the cyclotron during its shutdown period. Thornton walks in wearing a pressed pinstripe suit, just late enough to arouse a flurry of concern.
Once the interview begins, it is clear he is accustomed to speaking about his work. Proton therapy for cancer treatment is no less powerful than conventional X-ray therapy, he says. It's simply more precise. It allows a group of specialists to target a tumor within 1 millimeter. X-rays, by contrast, have a much looser target, which can affect the surrounding, healthy tissue. Proton beams wield such control because of something called the Bragg peak, a sharp stopping point of the proton beam. Proton therapy offers a kind of accuracy that makes it an ideal form of cancer treatment for children, whose tumors are imbedded in growing tissue, and for patients with tumors in the head or around critical organs.

Many patients may be implanted with tiny BB-like balls around the treatment area, markers to position the patient. They remain in the body even after the proton therapy is completed. Phil Thompson, an early patient of MPRI, was implanted with solid gold BBs in his prostate. As he was undergoing treatment, his friends drafted and notarized a document saying if, for whatever reason, Thompson's wife were to outlive him, she would have an autopsy performed on him to obtain the gold BBs and have them fashioned into a necklace and earrings.

Thompson is closer to the machine than most. He worked for years as a technician on the same cyclotron that extended his life.

Thompson's upbeat attitude and sense of humor are infectious, and he's putting it to good use. After his own recovery, he had a strong impulse to help those going through the same rough patch of road. Feeling blessed to have his family and friends at his side during the treatment, he was compelled to give that same support to patients who are far from loved ones. After seeing some of his fellow patients suffer from loneliness, he was inspired to start Hoosiers Care, a non-proselytizing organization fueled to make patients feel more comfortable during their stay in Bloomington. People have donated money, time, and even condos to the project.


The walls of Thompson's office are plastered with photographs of former patients with whom he developed relationships. He has a dozen stories for each face, and each of those faces has gazed with dismay into the nozzle of the proton beam.
The machine has spurred both fear and healing. The patients treated at MPRI have been healed by hydrogen ions launched by IU's original cyclotron.

In 1938, shortly after becoming the president of IU, Herman B Wells agreed to fund the construction of the University's first cyclotron. Wells wanted the physics department to surge ahead as a frontrunner of scientific research. The department's work eventually assisted the Manhattan Project's drive toward building the ultimate weapon.

With the intention of molding the physics program into a world-class academic arena, Wells hired Milo Sampson, Daniel Miller, and Lawrence Langer, all of whom were prominent physicists at the time. It's Langer, though, who was the most intriguing figure of the group. Having been named the physics department chair, he was also working for theManhattan Project. Legend has it84 that the night before deployment in 1945, Langer slept on one of the bombs destined for Japan to prevent tampering.
Work on the cyclotron continued for decades, until researchers set their sights on the implementation of another powerful tool. The National Science Foundation granted funding, and in 1968, the old cyclotron was decommissioned to make way for the new, more powerful 200 mega-electron-volt cyclotron. That same year, Phil Thompson joined the staff as a cyclotron technician, though he had no experience in physics.

"At that time, I was a generalist," he says. "I was a jack of all trades and master of none. I could do … you name it. They were looking for someone who had a myriad of skills to be a technician. Not even knowing what a cyclotron was, I was hired."
Thompson eventually became assistant to the director of the facility, and worked on the machine through its transitions. The small cyclotron was moved from Swain Hall West to the IUCF's current home north of Memorial Stadium, and refurbished to serve as an injector cyclotron for a larger, more modern partner. Together, the two accelerators sent particles shooting at nearly the speed of light.

Building the new facility was a dangerous job. Managing such heavy objects and high voltages was careful, tiring work. One man, Thompson says, was severely injured after taking a nasty fall into the main stage cavity of the concrete floor. By fall 1975, the construction ended, and the cyclotron siblings were set to operate. For 25 years, the center functioned as a highly esteemed medium-energy nuclear physics laboratory.

Technology is cannibalistic by nature: The new consumes the old. The IU Cyclotron Facility was eclipsed by more sophisticated machines, such as the Tevatron at Fermilab, near Chicago. And, since the IU cyclotron clocked in at the relatively low energy of 208 MeV, it could no longer compete in nuclear-physics research.
In 1987, John Cameron was appointed the director of IUCF. He was a motivating force in ushering the facility toward its new role, aware of its looming obsolescence. He had learned about proton therapy at the University of Alberta. In Canada, proton therapy became increasingly commonplace as a method of cancer treatment. The IUCF was a good candidate for proton therapy due to the cyclotron's lower-energy beam, which was just strong enough to penetrate halfway through the average human body.
"This is perfect for humans. You only need to penetrate halfway through because you can just turn the patient around to get the other side," Susan Klein says, cutting right past physics jargon. Klein has been a medical physicist at IUCF for more than 15 years, and has witnessed many of the hurdles it has faced during her tenure.
When Klein joined the staff, Cameron was garnering enough support and funding to develop IUCF's role as an institution devoted to medical innovation. In 1993, a young man suffering from an aggressive, inoperable brain tumor became the facility's first patient to receive the proton therapy. Klein says that at the time, "everything was very rudimentary."

The progress could not have come at a better time. By 1998, the funding from the National Science Foundation for the had cyclotron ran out, and IUCF needed to change gears or close its doors. In response to the dilemma was the construction of the MPRI , now one of only five such clinics in the nation.

Though it saved the cyclotron's operation, the shift was not without its opponents. Many doctors and administrators were adamantly opposed to proton therapy. Those against it indicated that its effectiveness had yet to be officially proven because it never underwent a double-blind study. Klein says such a study would not be useful because the technology is constantly changing. "It's a moving target," she says.
Despite doubts of the proton therapy's supposed benefits, there were two men who showed tremendous faith in the technology. One was Thompson, the other, Cameron. But when both developed prostate cancer in 2004, and they each chose proton therapy as their preferred method of treatment. The timing of their treatments overlapped, and the two men shared in the experience of moving from behind the scenes of the cyclotron to the target of the beam. There are photos of the pair dancing together in the foyer of MPRI, dressed only in hospital gowns, Cameron says.

In both cases, the cancer was sent into remission and has not returned, thanks to the protons whirling around inside the cyclotron, hurled by magnets guiding them to their proper place.

"It's been a journey," Thompson says, reflecting on the way events in his life have unfolded. "It's been very interesting–it's not over yet, either."

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Christmas Blessings To All!

As this year draws to a close (thank goodness!), I want to take this opportunity to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! For many of us, we are closing one chapter of our lives only to begin another. Only God knows what lies ahead (which is probably a good thing). My prayer for all of you is that you may experience a Peace that only comes from God through the power of His Holy Spirit!! May this Peace that surpasses all human understanding guard your heart and mine this Christmas season. May God bless you now and through this coming year!

God Bless Us Everyone!!!

Merry Christmas!

Kim

Wind Beneath My Wings

My prayer for you this Christmas season is that God would be the "wind beneath your wings" now and forever in the future!

The lyrics to "Wind Beneath My Wings" are below. (Click the Title to see a music video!)

Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strain.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

James 1:1-4 Sermon Summary Points

James 1:1-4 Sermon

December 13, 2008

Key Points


Below is a summary of my key points from the James 1:1-4 Sermon on I heard in my Men's Small Group meeting this last Saturday.

1. Everyone has their own wheelbarrow of trials and temptations, so I need to make sure I make my FEELINGS subservient to my KNOWLEDGE of God. If my actions are feeling-based, then I will be like a ship blown here and there by the wind. That is why it important for my actions to be based on my knowledge of God!

2. I discover God is my Father during those times when I feel I am “waiting” on God or that He is not hearing me. During these times, I often do not know how to pray or what to pray, so all I can do is cry, “ Abba, FATHER!”

3. Most Christians live lives of “quiet desperation” because we are focusing on our problems rather than God! I need to focus on my relationship with God, the God of my circumstances!

4. My prayer in these times of “quiet desperation” should be
“Father God, you know how badly, I would like you to change my circumstances and make all my problems go away, BUT my prayer is that you will change ME to live through and in the mist of these circumstances for YOUR glory! Help me to view these circumstances and those who you bring into my life through YOUR eyes!”

5. Faith by itself does not produce perseverance; faith only becomes significant under stress!

Always Living In View Of Eternity

Below are some notes that I took after viewing the sermon referenced on the link below. The sermon was by Ken Nichols on "Always Living In View Of Eternity".

mms://stream1.shadowmountain.org/services/smcc/am/2008/06/20080622am.wmv

Always Living In View Of Eternity
Sermon by Ken Nichols

Overview

We need to believe in:

God’s Faithfulness

God’s Promises

God’s Presence

God’s Plan

I. We need see life from God’s Perspective.

Binoculars provide a narrow view which allows us to focus on a specific thing / problem. Field glasses allow us to see the whole view – God’s perspective. We need to make an intentional commitment to “Always Living In View Of Eternity”. “Always Living In View Of Eternity” is an effort to always see life from God’s perspective. We need to believe that God is faithful to fulfill His promises.
We cannot coast into an “Eternal Perspective”. We need to make an intentional commitment to “Always Living In View Of Eternity”. This will help us through our crisis times; it will help through our day-to-day life. Seeing things through God’s eyes is absolutely essential to be successful in our spiritual journey.

II. We need to be influenced by God’s Promises.

We need to believe that God is who he says he is and that he will do what he has promised He will do.
As long as the Israelite’s eyes were on God, their faith was strong. The cul-de-sacs in our lives are designed to glorify God and grow us into His image. God’s purposes are to grow us into his image. God makes us more “godly” by bringing us into an impossible situation. He brings us to a place where all we can see is the problem; all we experience is the pain. The prominence is how big the problem is – not how big your God is. An eternal perspective does not take away the problems, realities, and challenges of this life; but it allows us to deal with them in a way that honors God!

We need to focus on how big God is versus how big our problem is. We need to be able to pray

Lord Jesus,
“I don’t like this; I don’t understand this; but if by God’s grace you can use these circumstances for my growth and your glory, sign me up!
Do not try to make other people feel good about bad things. You do not tell people, you will get over it; time will heal it.

III. God’s Presence

All Christians have the Holy Spirit. Our prayer should be that we should be sensitive to, responsive to, and obedience to the power / prompting of the Holy Spirit!

IV. God’s Plan

People like to go to counseling to be encouraged. People enjoy counseling as long as they feel better or are getting some help; that encourages them. But once they are required to apply principles or memorize scripture, pray together, or do something in their spiritual journey, then they lose interest.
Many times, the difficulties in life are a grand opportunity to grow into His likeness but we grit our teeth until the storm passes by and we do not learn a thing. God loves us enough to recycle us. He loves us enough to bring these cul-de-sac experiences into our lives which require us to look up! We need to understand his perspective; believe in his promises, embrace his presence, and obey his specific plan for our life.

Bible #2 – If you begin today, to commit yourself to live your life in view of eternity, it will change your life forever. It will also make a different in terms of your eternal rewards and your enjoyment of the journey here. What will your story be in Bible #2? What did you do to that made a difference? How was your life used by God to make a difference?

Living life with an eternal view will change your life spiritually; it will change your life practically – all along the way. Having an eternal perspective that honors God, in no way insulates you from the pain or the loss caused by your problems. It does not mean a happy life; it does not mean an easy life. It means a life that glorifies God; a life that can make a difference!

Living Trust

God’s Word Influences My Perspective

My Perspective Influences My Response

My Response Influences The Outcome 100% of the Time.

General Update

I have been on vacation since 11-19 and so far it has been great. I have not really done much. I have cleaned out a couple of my dresser drawers, one of my book shelves, and a little bit of the basement. I still have a lot to do in the basement. I also have two lights to install (swap out) and a garbage disposal to replace. Healthwise, I have been feeling great. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday, January 23rd for a PSA checkup.

I spent about four days working on my Jill's House video and finding a place to store and share the video. I have been enjoying spending time with some of my friends and meeting with my men's small group. I have also been able to go out to lunch with Ed Schmidt twice since getting back to town. I have been doing a lot of reading lately and some shopping. I have bought some more winter and long sleeve shirts. I should be shopped out for now.

I bought the movie Rudy and hope to see that in the next week or so. I have been meeting weekly with a friend (counselor) at church. I am also supposed to be meeting with a professional counselor to look back into my childhood to see if I can address some of those issues which I hope to resolve to help me deal better with my everyday life.

Other than that, I have just been relaxing and trying to enjoy life as much as I can. I have been just trying to take one day at a time. I saw a great video at my men's meeting today that talks about living life with an "Eternal" view. I will add that link on the end of this note.

I pray that all of you will have a blessed Christmas season and an wonderful New Year!

God Bless!

Kim

mms://stream1.shadowmountain.org/services/smcc/am/2008/06/20080622am.wmv

I wish you enough

Recently I overheard a mother & daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged & the mother said, 'I love you, & I wish you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.'

They kissed & the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted & needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'.

'I am old, & she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead & the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, & she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive & everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry & walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

* Only if you wish send this to the people you will never forget & remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you don't send it to anyone it may mean that you are in such a hurry that you have forgotten your friends.

TAKE TIME TO LIVE... ..

To all my friends & loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH.

Updated Jill's House Video

I updated the Jill's House video to remove the last 6 minutes which did not have any video but just an extra music track. I have updated it to the Jill's House video links. I will also update the link to the title of this entry to point to a site where you can download your own copy. Let me know if you have any questions.

God Bless!

Kim

The new video link to play the video is located on Google at

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7104327281098270784

Jill's House Video Download

If you are interested in getting your own copy of this Jill's House video, you should be able to click on the title above and get prompted to download the video. It is around 125 meg so it will take about an hour to download.

God Bless!

Kim

New Final Jill's House Video

I made a couple updates to my Jill's House video. I think this should be my final version. The video is about 14 minutes long but it seems to last 20 minutes. I hear some music at the end so I am checking out my original copy. I think I have some music embedded at the end that I did not know about. I am having a problem getting it copied to a video to play on any DVD so I am still working on that. You should be able to click on the title to this post to see the video.

God Bless!

Kim

Finalized Jill's House Video

I just "finalized" my Jill's House video and added the link to my web site. I may make some minor changes but this is much different than my first two drafts. I hope you all enjoy it.

God Bless!

Kim

Colonoscopy - Written by Dave Barry

So here's the story.

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.

You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic.. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothe s and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.
'Ha ha,' I said.

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. Now I know why I am not gay.'

And the best one of all.

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'