Back To Reality (Amost!)

Monday, September 29, 2008

Well, it is Monday morning in St. Louis and life for me is back to normal – NOT! I am not sure when I will be able to mentally process how my 10 weeks at Jill’s House in Bloomington and the associated MPRI Proton Radiation treatments and the relationships I experienced there have changed my life. I am not sure when it will hit me that I am not going to be having any more morning coffee breaks with my buddies at Jill’s House, interactions with the Jill’s House personnel and dedicated volunteer staff. I am just glad that I have some time to myself to process this period in my life this week. One thing that I do know right now is that it was an experience that touched my life and I pray that I will never be the same again.

Scripture: (1 Peter 5:6-11)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Joke For Today

Dragging Their Feet

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.

As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969."

The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."

My MPRI Experience (D-Day)

Week 10 – Treatment #44 – Thursday, September 25, 2008

Today is D-Day, the end of the line for me at MPRI. It was a long night. I think I have finally started processing that I am leaving Jill's House for good and another chapter of my life is ending.

Joke of the Day

Bacon in My Ear

Loyd walks into a doctor''s office. He has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle coming out of his nose, and bacon coming out of his other ear.

Loyd says worriedly, "Doc, what''s wrong with me?!?"

The doctor replies, "You''re not eating properly."

My MPRI Experience

My MPRI Experience

Week 10 – Treatment #42 – Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Well, when I got up to go to the bathroom for the 3rd time since I went to bed, my alarm clock read 5:25 a.m. For some reason, my mind started to race (I know most of you guys in Jill’s House will find that hard to believe!) I have been trying to figure out how I should be spending the final three days that I have here at Jill’s House. I am not sure why, but when my brain finally went back into “idle” mode, I pondered all of the many different questions that folks had asked over the last 9-10 weeks and what I have found out.

One of the big frustrations that we have discussed over and over is the lack of any guide or handout of MPRI Prostate Cancer Proton Treatment “Dos” and “Don’ts”. So, I started trying to list out all the questions I had run across over the last 9 weeks. I wrote myself a note to work on this when I woke up. Different questions and answers came to my mind and so right then, I knew that my “sleep” time for today had ended. So, just for today, I am going to put on my “car guy” newspaper hat and put together my “best effort” to write my Jill’s House newspaper article. I guess I am going to put on my “Dear Abby” hat too. So, if while I am working on my questions and answers, if you have any questions that has been burning in your mind, just let me know and I will do my best to answer them.

I am trying to decide between several different titles listed below:

“Kim Sjerven's MPRI Proton Radiation Prostate Cancer FAQs”

“Inquiring Minds Want To Know Why Robbie Decided To Stand Up When Eating Breakfast After His 17th Proton Radiation Treatment”

I will be out of Jill's House today shortly after 9:30 a.m. I am making a "spiritual" journey to "The Farm" run by Ruth Ann and Jim Wade. I have a 5:30 p.m. treatment so I may not get back to answering these questions until then. BUT feel free to submit your questions to me via email at sjerven@swbell.net. Yes, you women can submit questions too!

Joke of the Day

Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra.

The suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!

My MPRI Experience

Week 10 – Treatment #41 – Monday, September 22, 2008

This is D-Day week for me. I only have four more treatments left to go. Ed & I drove back from St. Louis last night since he had a 9:30 a.m. treatment today. We got in about 11:30 p.m. last night. I got to bed about midnight and was up around 7 a.m. I had a leisurely breakfast (coffee and one yogurt) and then attended our morning devotional time. Then, I went up to my room to finish up my personal devotions.

I called the AT&T Disability Service Center to try to get my return to work date updated to 10-6. I sent in the latest updates I had and then called the center again and talked with a contact who said she would review my information and then call me. Then, I took my laptop down to the dining area to work on my photos. I have worked on them for the last 3 hours or so and finally have got them labeled. I am copying them to my flash drive so other folks can copy them. I am also making a copy for John. I will probably make a few copies on CDs for folks who do not have a computer. When I was going back to my room Sara asked if I was going to have a slide show setup for Thursday evening for the going away party.

I hope to get a chance to work on a Jill’s House DVD. I need to go through the photos and decide which ones to print. So, that is what I am working on today. My treatment is scheduled for 5 p.m. today. I worked on naming, editing, and organizing my photos today. I spend 3-5 hours getting them all updated. Then, I created several DVD disks of photos to give out to folks. I also copied them to a flash drive for folks that had laptops here. So, I am getting the photos to those who want copies.

After organizing all the photos and doing some initial editing, I reviewed all the photos and created a presentation folder that I am going to use for a slide show on Thursday evening when we have our going away desert time. Sara R had asked about a slide presentation so I have that completed. Whew!


Joke of the Day

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists - two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her. The first man said.”You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife!

The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. I tried, but I can’t kill my wife. The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said,”You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

My MPRI Experience

Tonight, I added the Caring Bridge web site links to my blog for the kids I have become acquainted with over the last few weeks. I thank God for the way He has used these kids to touch my heart and soul. If only us as adults could act in such a distinguished fashion. I would gladly trade places with any of these dear children.

My MPRI Experience

Week 9 – Treatment #39 – Thursday, September 18, 2008

Today has been a great day. I got up around 7:30 a.m. and did my morning routine including attending our daily devotional time. I am a little behind today so have a few things to catch up on before I head home. I am in charge of the daily devotionals tomorrow morning. I have my main material completed but need to get my Bible references added so I will be doing that after I update my blog.

After devotions, I chatted a little and then headed back to my room. I did a couple of my own daily devotionals and then had some personal prayer time. Then, before I knew it, it was 11:45 a.m. and Sara (a Jill’s House volunteer) came by to take me out to lunch. We had a nice, quiet lunch in a restaurant in downtown Bloomington (Caribou Harbor, I think). Then, Sara drove me back to Jill’s House and gave me a small package. In it were two small paper weights: one was green and had Trust God on one side and a flame on the other. The other one was blue and had Joy and Peace on one side and a dove on the other. I told Sara I had the perfect place for them on my desk at work. Our lunch reminded me how little time I have left in Bloomington.

I came back to my room and did a couple things before getting ready to walk over to MPRI. When I was leaving, Peg Howard caught me and told me that she needed me. She took me into her office and gave me a CD with I think has some photos of her son Steve who died right before his 19th birthday of cancer. Jill’s House is dedicated to Steve Howard and Jill Berhman. I had told Peg earlier in the day that I wanted to try to make a video for Jill’s House and I needed to have a couple photos of her son Steve. I had told Marilyn Berhman the same thing last night concerning Jill. I also asked if there was any special music that they liked since I was hoping to add some music to the video too. So, that is something else I hope to get accomplished along with a photo collage and photo album. I had also talked to Peg earlier this morning about getting a 3-4’ by 8-10’ particle board put up on a blank wall in the dining area. I told her we could us it for the photo collage. We could put up some pictures of the current residents and then every new group could add some photos to it. So, I will need to look at the CD and see what is there.

I got over to MPRI about 50 minutes early. I drank my water on my way. I went back to see a few of the folks so I could get some photos. Shortly after that, they told me I could get ready. I asked the girls to take some pictures for me since I had seen some of the ones they took for Loyd. I told them I wanted a picture of my x-rays and also of my prostate molds. I am not sure what all pictures they took but will plan on downloading them when I get time. After my treatment, since I was still dressed up from lunch, I had some pictures taken of me and my girls and some of the other MPRI personal.

It sounds like it might be a busy night. There is a band setting up to play on the balcony off of the dining room. John just stopped by to show me some photos he had taken and asked if I would drive him to the bowling alley tonight for their $1 drafts. I told him I had to finish up a couple things first. So, there might be a lot of things to do tonight. Then, I need to get ready to leave town in the morning. Ed and I are carpooling again tomorrow.

Joke of the Day

Alien Abduction

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner bar enjoying themselves, when Ted walks in looking distressed.

"Ted, you look awful. What's wrong?" Harry asks.

Ted says, "Last night I got really drunk, and then somewhere between here and my house, I was abducted by an alien?"

Everyone is shocked. "I heard about this kind of thing happening!" Bills says. "What did the alien do to you?"

"I don't remeber all the details," Ted says. "All I remember is being anally probed by the alien."

Everyone is horrified. "I heard that they'll do that!" Steve says. "What did the alien look like?"

Ted responds, "Courtney from MPRI!"

How about this one?

Who Wants To Be a Millionaire

A husband and wife are watching "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," and the husband winks and says, "Honey, let's go upstairs..."

The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no.

So the husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says yes.

The husband says, "Well, can I phone a friend?"

The Sandpiper By Robert Peterson

The Sandpiper
By Robert Peterson

She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live.
I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world
Begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something
And looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.

'Hello,' she said.

I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.

'I'm building,' she said.

'I see that. What is it?' I asked, not really caring.

'Oh, I don't know, I just like the feel of sand.'

That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.

A sandpiper glided by.

'That's a joy,' the child said.

'It's a what?'

'It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy.'

The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself,
Hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed; my life seemed
completely out of balance.

'What's your name?' She wouldn't give up.

'Robert,' I answered. 'I'm Robert Peterson.'

'Mine's Wendy... I'm six.'

'Hi, Wendy.'

She giggled. 'You're funny,' she said.

In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on.
Her musical giggle followed me.

'Come again, Mr. P,' she called. 'We'll have another happy day.'

The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings,
And an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out
Of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat.

The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was
Chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.

'Hello, Mr. P,' she said. 'Do you want to play?'

'What did you have in mind?' I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.

'I don't know. You say.'

'How about charades?' I asked sarcastically.

The tinkling laughter burst forth again. 'I don't know what that is.'

'Then let's just walk.'

Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face.
'Where do you live?' I asked.

'Over there.' She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.

Strange, I thought, in winter.

'Where do you go to school?'

'I don't go to school. Mommy says we're on vacation.'

She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was
On other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a
happy day.
Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.

Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no
Mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt
like demanding she keep her child at home.

'Look, if you don't mind,' I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, 'I'd
rather be alone today.' She seemed unusually pale and out of breath.

'Why?' she asked.

I turned to her and shouted, 'Because my mother died!' and thought,
my, why was I saying this to a little child?

'Oh,' she said quietly, 'then this is a bad day.'

'Yes,' I said, 'and yesterday and the day before and -- oh, go away!'

'Did it hurt?' she inquired.

'Did what hurt?' I was exasperated with her, with myself.

'When she died?'

'Of course it hurt!' I snapped, misunderstanding,
Wrapped up in myself. I strode off.

A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn't there.
Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up
to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking
young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.

'Hello,' I said, 'I'm Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today
and wondered where she was.'

'Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much.
I'm afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance,
please, accept my apologies.'

'Not at all -- she's a delightful child.' I said, suddenly realizing
that I meant what I had just said.

'Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia.
Maybe she didn't tell you.'

Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.

'She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn't say no.
She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days.
But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly...' Her voice faltered, 'She left
something for you, if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment
while I look?'

I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young
woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with 'MR. P' printed in bold
childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues -- a
yellow beach, blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:

A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love
opened wide. I took Wendy's mother in my arms. 'I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,
I'm so sorry,' I uttered over and over, and we wept together. The precious little
picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words -- one for each year
of her life -- that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love.

A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand
-- who taught me the gift of love.


NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson. It happened over 20 years ago and the incident changed his life forever. It serves as a reminder
to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living and life and each other.

Life is so complicated; the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas
can make us lose focus about what is truly important
or what is only a momentary setback or crisis.

This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug, and by all means,
take a moment... even if it is only ten seconds, to stop and smell the roses.